Space Between

I delivered my most wonderful creation in this world 4 months ago.   I remember looking at the mirror, trying to convince myself that everything aside from my growing tummy is unchanged, and feeling uglier and bigger each day.  I can still remember the times when I had 4 days of aching hip and I couldn’t even walk straight. I remember the first time the doctor had to do an internal exam on me. I can even remember the sound of the popped waterbag. I remember the fluctuating pain brought by contraction and the hope that it’ll soon be over. I remember screaming at my doctor when there was a sudden pain and all she did was smile like saying- “that is giving birth”.  I remember how numbness slowly ate a big part of me.  I even remember the conversation I had with my attending physicians before, during and after my son was pulled out from me. I remember begging not to have me sliced open. I remember hearing my baby’s fast heartbeat while inside me. I remember how afte...

The very long wait is over. If you know me better, you probably know for a fact that I am a very frugal person.  I often choose practicality over quality.  I forego the best just to save money. I even perfected the art of just staring and imagining to own something because I refuse to see descending money figures. It was a long discussion between myself and my savings. In the end, I had to tell myself that I need to spoil myself at times. Besides, there is none to do that until my son has a mind of his own and I remain to be the only woman he loves. After all, I pushed my baby out to see the world but ended up getting sliced open, turned a year older and had another Christmas—I guess I deserve something as a pat on my back. So just this year, after giving birth to my first child, I realized I shouldn’t starve myself anymore. Well, at least not until I am paying for my kid’s tuition.  What is the use of money if it will just stay in the bank? What is the sense...