Space Between

I sit here waiting for my birthday. Thinking. Hoping. I sit here staring at the window. Thinking. Flying. I sit here dreaming. Thinking. Giggling. I sit here drowning with thoughts. Thinking. Fighting. I sit here crying all the pain out. Thinking. Healing. I sit here smiling at my love. Thinking. Patting my back. I sit here resting while I can. Thinking. Believing. I sit here frowning at thoughts. Thinking. Nodding. I sit here checking the time. Thinking. Recalling. I sit here pouring my brain. Thinking. Recording. I sit here writing. Thinking. Reflecting. I sit here. Thinking. Living. Breathing. Loving. I sit still. But inside, everything is working.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I have no plans, really. It was actually just a few days ago when I thought of taking a "leave" from work. "Leave" because when you are working at home, there is no such thing as leaving work. But after that, I have none until this very moment. This feeling is so strange I barely recognize it. Since when did I lose my enthusiasm for my birthday? I don't know but the nothingness in me is unfathomable. Grateful, still, for another year.  Thank you.