Space Between

It happened again. Almost the same place. Quite the same situation. And oh, the same status. He was undisturbed while I sneaked into his mobile. Tadah! Then it’s REALLY time to go.

And now, I think, I am doing it again.   No preferences. No conditions. No qualms. It’s just happening again.   Almost everything except the deepest part of the heart.     I remember the last time this outbreak occurred. Two innocent souls playing around like tomorrow never existed. But one innocent soul opted to play with fire instead.   One got burned and the other was left frozen. The scald it left has never entirely healed and neither did the coldness it brought along by.   And time has not done its fair part.   I’d always remember how the sheets of paper I broke turned into glass sheets.   How everytime somebody else held his hand, fingers always dripped with blood.   And how his innocence transformed into one malicious body of hunger.   And until now, nobody has held him back in good faith.   And finally, I remember how karma came fast knocking into my door. How its smile pretended to be the best visitor I’ll ...

In fairness, nagrerecite kami ng prayer while drinking. hehe

I remember the very first time we met. Huge, chinky-eyed- suplado. I was even the first one to get to say hi.   You kept my secrets whenever I go home early in the morning. That, only the three of us know who we were during then. You witnessed my late night sessions while Daddy wrinkled his forehead and Mommy crossed her arms beside the door.   You saw me in my ugliest. You saw me in my happiest.   But then, you never gave me a chance to say goodbye. ...   It’s like breaking up with someone you’ve long loved. It’s like letting go of someone you have been with your entire life, almost.   It’s like getting home, empty. It’s like taking a vein out of your being. It’s like losing a dear part of what you call life.   I hope he understands. I hope he’s happier now. I hope he’s feeling better now. I hope he’s treated well. Good if better than we did to him. I hope they’ll remember his birthday. And even bring him pansit like we used to. ...

I need an amnesia attack. I can’t believe I am even considering thinking of it. Argh!   I   need two fingers to make me throw off whatever has gotten to my system. Oh shoot, let this out, please?   I can’t wait for school to finally start all over me. And me to start all over school. I need to set a sight of something anew.   Erase. Erase. Erase.   Holy crap. It’s playing with me. I DON’T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU! Vanish! I’m out of this.