This Thing I Have Right Now

And now, I think, I am doing it again.

 

No preferences. No conditions. No qualms. It’s just happening again.

 

Almost everything except the deepest part of the heart. 

 

I remember the last time this outbreak occurred. Two innocent souls playing around like tomorrow never existed. But one innocent soul opted to play with fire instead.  One got burned and the other was left frozen. The scald it left has never entirely healed and neither did the coldness it brought along by.  And time has not done its fair part.

 

I’d always remember how the sheets of paper I broke turned into glass sheets.  How everytime somebody else held his hand, fingers always dripped with blood.  And how his innocence transformed into one malicious body of hunger.  And until now, nobody has held him back in good faith.

 

And finally, I remember how karma came fast knocking into my door. How its smile pretended to be the best visitor I’ll ever have.  And how I gave in to its amusing tales and antics.  And how eventually it took every little faith I had in me.  And now, that door is open but is still under repair.

 

It might be a vicious cycle. I guess.

 

But, I don’t want karma to knock again.

 

Then I’ll just refute my previous claim.

 

Rather. Fate, I’d say.

 

** Ang tigas ng ulo ko. Baket ba?***