Space Between

Once in your life, you picked your own stars. You align them in such a way that they would glow as bright as what you perceived them to be- in your dreams, in your fairy tales, and even in your emptiness. They seemed to twinkle perfectly during the first few nights. Brightly in the succeeding months. Just right to remain as stars. But the fire in it slowly got blown by the wind. And the remaining fire shared the scathe of what was left. A number of balls of fire passed, putting some more flame on the fire. But, in the end, the wind drawn the fire. Nothing was left but the memory of the stars.

Woke up one day crying. Woke up another day feeling irritated. Again, another day, one more week , the following month and then became years. It has been a routine. And this has been slowly eating part by part of me for years now. Nothing was left. I died. It died. I planned to gather the pieces but there was no force pushing me down. No arms stretching forward. No eyes looking for one. Tradition says I have to. But why do I have to? Do I have to? Then, what do I do?  What do you do when you realize that, in this pit hole, the only person to save you from drowning is no other than yourself? Today, I stare at emptiness constantly reminding me of all my stupidity. Where has all my worth gone? I keep seeking for answers as to why I opted to settle for something never on my list. To settle on then again that was. I want to blame time. Yes, you, time. But then again, who decided it was time? Can I please recover? Where do I buy that? How do I buy that? I have the answe...

Writing this at 12 midnight. What is it about today that made me up until now? I sit beside the best thing in my life. Wondering what life will I give him if I do without. Tonight, I cried, again, like the other night. As I hope for life, I deprive him of an ordinary life. Tell me, is it too much to ask? For all the bad things and the wrong ones, can I still make them right? Thoughts flowing. Dreams following. Answers wandering. Yet with me. Yet now. Or will it ever be? Here comes sleep. And the day ended, again, just like that.