Space Between

He said, “Just tell me when”. And I smiled with tears. 12.5 years. They still see you as the same thin girl from the corporate world seemingly unfamiliar with the works of the industry. They give you various kinds of work. They made you dance. They made you sing. They made you do what you never imagined when you were even younger. They make you write anything they want to. They make you invent things. They make you do regular jobs and expect you to produce the same with those thought with greener degrees. They make you do tasks they will never ask other people to do. They make you work fast, faster and even the fastest when things are running out of time. They even make you work like there is no time. They make you do the dirty work. They talk about you. They make stories about you. They smirk at you. They frown at you. They drop you. They forget all about you. They made you do this. And one day, they will miss you.

So many demons running in my head. Replaying events which remained a question for a while, answered but were not parallel to what really transpired. I was not born yesterday. In fact, I was born years ago, with battle scars here and there. Some have healed. Some, still hurt inside but look better in the naked eye. Today, I’m wondering why I am writing this. The last time I penned one ended after so many times of struggling. Is this a sign I always tend to smirk at? Admittedly, I sometimes become naive. I am stupid. I am stubborn. I am uplifted by all the butterflies inside me. But, I don’t want to be like that anymore. I want to know how it really feels to be happy. Not only because someone said that I deserve to be one, but I think, that is what any person passionately doing her job actually deserves. So yeah. I have a right to ask myself. I am free to find what will make me believe. I can look around for my own sanity. Because no one else will do that for me. Not in this lifet...