Space Between

I am sick. I wake up every morning thinking of all the conversations I should have had with people who continually judge me. And it ruins my morning. I am sick. I sit to do my rounds of nature, pour water on my hair and have myself filled with sud and simultaneously inhales scenarios of arguments should I encounter negativities of my environment. And it ruins my time for myself. I am sick. I wait in line for my transportation to work. Bake myself under the sun. Try to get some sleep on my way. While I do those, my eyes squint and my forehead wrinkles just imagining how bad I have become without the need to explain. An then, it ruins my travel. I am sick. I see people spit senseless conclusions while I stare in the computer screen. I strain my eyes, my ears and my head. And it ruins my work. I am sick. I travel to go home. I try to get something to make my stomach at the least happy, then I find none specifically.Then I go home, hungry and unhappy. And then, I just want to get s...

At one point in your life, you will realize that the answer to your prayers is not the answer to your problems. I keep failing this exam. Damn!

"You deserve someone who knows how to make it up to you after hurting you. Not someone who is very good with just the word -- sorry." Kung sino ka man, T.A.M.A.A.N.K.A.N.A.M.A.N.S.A.N.A.

"Kung hindi ko kakapalan ang mukha ko, walang mangyayari sakin."

How do you make it up with someone who bled while you were in tears of laughter? How do you actually see the ever ubiquitous word "sorry"? How do you move on, forgive, forget and try again? How are hows done? I don't know. So does he. Not applicable.

I had the chance to watch “My Amnesia Girl” again which features the very convincing John Lloyd Cruz and the equally great (here) Toni Gonzaga. The story rooted from the wedding jitter Cruz encountered while his bride, Gonzaga, was walking down the aisle.   Well, he ran away.—I felt the pain in Gonzaga, deeply. Cruz’ character made me curse hard and spill the same lines brought to him. So there. Maybe you know how I was pinched there. I suddenly thought of so many things then. Is it simply normal for a bride or groom to feel scared of the new life they are about to face? When do you say, he/she is ready to settle down? As this point in time, when careers are still on the soar and finances are still starting to fill up the piggy bank, can we absolutely say readiness is full-forced? After a trust-earthquake occurrence in my life, these thoughts have started lingering in my mind for days.   Its disturbing, I tell you. And with everyday I wake up nearing my big day, I ...

They say, you do not fully love someone if trust is not present. But what if you have grown to love someone altogether with the entire cast of trust, and, eventually, one of the casts breaks down? Again and again without remorse. Is love then questionable? My building of trust which took me quite a while to rebuild was again ruined by a very lame-hitting bat.   I don’t understand why such happened.   Outside factors believe that I may have been holding on tight. I would definitely want to refute that. Even this someone, would, I believe so. And even if otherwise,   I strongly believe that nobody deserves that.   And then again, I still cannot understand. You see, I am facing the altar in months. And on my road towards there, I need full force on my hands. If only I could pick up the broken glasses on my way there, I would. But then, it does neither take my way there nor months to pick them up.    I don’t even know if these glasses can be ...