Biba from Singapore




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Random Thoughts

It’s a new year and I realized, I have not written my thoughts for quite some time now. Days and months have passed, and things are quite the same still. You know what’s different? The impact. These days, I have quite grown to live with the challenges in my life. But don’t get me wrong. I still cry the ugliest cry. I still bawl in the CR in a snap. I still shout while driving. I still feel worried. I still feel anxious that anytime someone from behind will stab me, literally and figuratively. I still feel the pain. I still am sad of things that happened and that were done to me. But as they say, you do not and cannot forget the pain. You just learn to live with it. Until now, no one has sincerely sent an apology or showed regret. I shouldn't wait, really. Maybe there will come a time that they will realize the scar they left on me. Maybe not. And I am still trying not to care. I’m persuading myself that because I have different views and practice from people I grew up with,...
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Today

They say, you do not fully love someone if trust is not present. But what if you have grown to love someone altogether with the entire cast of trust, and, eventually, one of the casts breaks down? Again and again without remorse. Is love then questionable? My building of trust which took me quite a while to rebuild was again ruined by a very lame-hitting bat.   I don’t understand why such happened.   Outside factors believe that I may have been holding on tight. I would definitely want to refute that. Even this someone, would, I believe so. And even if otherwise,   I strongly believe that nobody deserves that.   And then again, I still cannot understand. You see, I am facing the altar in months. And on my road towards there, I need full force on my hands. If only I could pick up the broken glasses on my way there, I would. But then, it does neither take my way there nor months to pick them up.    I don’t even know if these glasses can be ...
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