Things bugging my mind today.

1. “Paano ba ako yayaman?”

I guess every one of us is bugged by such question. Pero, paano nga ba? Like, I work and work and go home like a dead meat. I save so much that I could hardly treat myself every once in a while. I invest in a super small business which I prefer calling money-keeper, instead.  I am sending myself to school to at least help me provide something more in the near future. But damn, I don’t see anything clear yet. Is it too early to plan? Or am I just getting later than late? Or I shouldn’t be asking anymore?! Darn.

2.  I’m getting older in a month. And then?

A year of preparation and hopes that this time it’ll be something different and then it turns out it just says hi and then bye. And then what happens after? The cycle goes on and on and on and I can do nothing but stare at the routine.

3. Why did I say I’ll make sabay???

I don’t need you. I can go home alone but what the hell did I say? I shouldn’t have said that??? Anyway, my justification is “sayang naman ang pamasahe.” So, lusot na ba ako?

4.  Please take this away.

I know in time I’ll get there, but, can it be sooner than that?  I don’t need it anyway. I have grasped a better understanding of it. And yes, I must admit I was wrong. More than he did, I hope and I believe, that is.  Then comes # 5.

5. Why do I still feel otherwise?

This was never part of the plan. But then again, I failed. For the nth time.  I’ve said a portion of my piece and still I don’t know if you understood each and every line I uttered.  Ang hirap kasi magexplain sa ganun. A real test of patience, man.

6. My officemate said- “Wala kang lovelife. Wala kang pera. Wala kang school. Wala kang ginagawa.”

Footang*%#. Un lang.

7. "Sana bukas na."

And when tomorrow comes, I’ll have to say that again.

8. Letting go of a bad habit is never an easy thing.

So now I get it. Yosi, gambling, or whatever bad habit you may think of, I get it. Mahirap nga.  But there’s always the first time to try it without. But for now, I’m still good at saying it. Hehe.

Yes. Tell it to me again. I am living a very pathetic life nowadays. And I dare not blame it to that should-be nothing-in-my-life. But it's partly causing it. But I’d rather take back my previous statement. 

Tama na kasi. When will I ever learn??? When will I ever keep my words? When will my mind finally dominate my decisions on things my stupid heart dictates?  Senti na to. Tama na.

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