end

This is not my first heartbreak. To begin with, this is not a heartbreak.

Finally, I came up with the right decision. Finally, my heart gave in to my mind. I backed out from my race to stupidity. I cut my quasi-happiness. I destroyed the one thing that makes me sad.

The tick of my work clock is still deafening. Its silence and idle moments still carry the pain I got along with the journey. For now, the best thing to do is to forgive. But I still cannot.  The only thing that I can do is still far-fetched. And it continues to hurt me.

But how do you forgive someone who is not asking for it? How can someone ask for it when he/she does not recognize his/her mistakes? How can he/she recognize his/her mistakes when he/she says he/she did not do such act?

I know I will get there. I know this will end. But for today, I'm still sleeping with all the pain I collected from before. But I know, it’ll eventually numb me.

Anyway, this is not a heartbreak.