(Repost from Multipy) For You Anyway

I guess loneliness is a mere state of mind. Like happiness, as I often say. It’s more often than not, self-inflicted. And I’d rather not inflict myself anymore.

This overrated emotion is rather infectious. In time, I know it’ll lead to something incurable. But time sells cure now. And I already bought one.

I now hate spending minutes staring on a still wall and land my imagination elsewhere. I find it rather futility to kill time wondering the what-ifs. I’d rather not think of happy thoughts both time and space witnessed on us.  I prefer omitting the I-hope-there-will-be-us, per se.

I now submit to this strength I for a fact know would kill me. And I know time would devour me if I still wouldn’t. Not only time, I guess.

This is not sadness, per se. It’s rather a realization of sadness which is inexistent anymore.

I don’t believe this but I believe those. I don’t believe myself but I believe my mind. I don’t believe this lie but I believe that still there’s time.

I’ll miss everything in you. But I’ll miss myself most if I’m not going to dive into this.

Whoever you are. Whatever you do. I know this will never reach your eyes. But this goes to you anyway.

I know. It will always be something wonderful. But only until such time.

***Originally posted 8 April 2008***

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