Space Between

I became a monster a few minutes ago. My head hurts like some nerves are about to burst. My heart hurts like its about to go out. This is what happens when you force things with you. Innocent people get hurt. You get hurt. You get sick. You die without getting what life is for. I don’t want to die unhappy. I don’t want to get sick. I don’t want to get hurt anymore.  Please give us a second chance. Please. Please.

A second chance isn’t too much to ask. 😑

Once in your life, you picked your own stars. You align them in such a way that they would glow as bright as what you perceived them to be- in your dreams, in your fairy tales, and even in your emptiness. They seemed to twinkle perfectly during the first few nights. Brightly in the succeeding months. Just right to remain as stars. But the fire in it slowly got blown by the wind. And the remaining fire shared the scathe of what was left. A number of balls of fire passed, putting some more flame on the fire. But, in the end, the wind drawn the fire. Nothing was left but the memory of the stars.

Woke up one day crying. Woke up another day feeling irritated. Again, another day, one more week , the following month and then became years. It has been a routine. And this has been slowly eating part by part of me for years now. Nothing was left. I died. It died. I planned to gather the pieces but there was no force pushing me down. No arms stretching forward. No eyes looking for one. Tradition says I have to. But why do I have to? Do I have to? Then, what do I do?  What do you do when you realize that, in this pit hole, the only person to save you from drowning is no other than yourself? Today, I stare at emptiness constantly reminding me of all my stupidity. Where has all my worth gone? I keep seeking for answers as to why I opted to settle for something never on my list. To settle on then again that was. I want to blame time. Yes, you, time. But then again, who decided it was time? Can I please recover? Where do I buy that? How do I buy that? I have the answe...

Writing this at 12 midnight. What is it about today that made me up until now? I sit beside the best thing in my life. Wondering what life will I give him if I do without. Tonight, I cried, again, like the other night. As I hope for life, I deprive him of an ordinary life. Tell me, is it too much to ask? For all the bad things and the wrong ones, can I still make them right? Thoughts flowing. Dreams following. Answers wandering. Yet with me. Yet now. Or will it ever be? Here comes sleep. And the day ended, again, just like that.

Dear Son, Don’t be like me. Even at a young age, know what you want. Make it clear. Walk towards it. Don’t be like me. Value education. Value people. Value words in all forms.  Don’t be like me. Play smart. Know how things will affect you. Know how things will destroy you. Don’t be like me. Dream all you want. Draw a thin line between dreaming and envying. Choose the former  rather than the latter. Don’t be like me. You can mess around. But don’t leave marks you cannot remove.  Don't tear people you  cannot cure. Don’t be like me. Have time for most of everything. Look everywhere. Try a lot of things. Waste no time wondering. Don’t be like me. Love like crazy. Choose who to love. Do not settle to love and be crazy. Instead, love, be crazy and settle. Don’t be like me. Be smart. Act like it. Talk like it. Deal with life like it. Don’t be like me. Enjoy pain. But do not nurture it. Don’t be like me. Don’t ...

What is your stand on cheating? We all know that cheating is part of the prohibitions of humanity in this world. However, sometimes, there are situations that tease you into it and one wrong move buys you a ticket and you’ll see yourself enjoying a ride. Do not buy a ticket, they say. Easier said than done to some, but not to all. Just recently, I enjoyed listening to discussion of friends over the matter. Of course, cheating is a taboo. But what do you do when everything is so perfect and that being “second” becomes least of a priority? What do you do when it has become part of your system and it has defined your so-called life? What do you do when people ask you to leave, but you know for a fact that, you will, not now, not tomorrow, maybe soon, but somehow you think, you will never ever leave? In this world where we have different personalities, weaknesses and goals, people still have the same notion on cheating. Although, some people are actually lucky enough to win th...