Singapore 2009




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Random Thoughts

It’s a new year and I realized, I have not written my thoughts for quite some time now. Days and months have passed, and things are quite the same still. You know what’s different? The impact. These days, I have quite grown to live with the challenges in my life. But don’t get me wrong. I still cry the ugliest cry. I still bawl in the CR in a snap. I still shout while driving. I still feel worried. I still feel anxious that anytime someone from behind will stab me, literally and figuratively. I still feel the pain. I still am sad of things that happened and that were done to me. But as they say, you do not and cannot forget the pain. You just learn to live with it. Until now, no one has sincerely sent an apology or showed regret. I shouldn't wait, really. Maybe there will come a time that they will realize the scar they left on me. Maybe not. And I am still trying not to care. I’m persuading myself that because I have different views and practice from people I grew up with,...
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Chance

The very long wait is over. If you know me better, you probably know for a fact that I am a very frugal person.  I often choose practicality over quality.  I forego the best just to save money. I even perfected the art of just staring and imagining to own something because I refuse to see descending money figures. It was a long discussion between myself and my savings. In the end, I had to tell myself that I need to spoil myself at times. Besides, there is none to do that until my son has a mind of his own and I remain to be the only woman he loves. After all, I pushed my baby out to see the world but ended up getting sliced open, turned a year older and had another Christmas—I guess I deserve something as a pat on my back. So just this year, after giving birth to my first child, I realized I shouldn’t starve myself anymore. Well, at least not until I am paying for my kid’s tuition.  What is the use of money if it will just stay in the bank? What is the sense...
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Dream on.

When I was younger, I often play the jobs of a cashier, a teacher, an office worker and even a bus conductor. I loved papers then. I also had a small blackboard wherein I would draw different faces. Mommy would bring me home scratch papers tied with a fastener to be my drawing book. Daddy would give me onion skins and carbon papers and from there, I would figure out how the ink travels from one point to another.  I would then sketch celebrities- who would eventually look like someone not who I intended to. I would make hills, clouds and girls clad in different outfits with my pen.  I guess I got a lot of practice there. When I was in highschool, I would rather doodle than listen during lectures. I would try to use my notebook and pen to copy the person writing on the blackboard. I would at times draw for group presentations. I also played volleyball. I enjoyed what I thought was enjoyable at that time. I never actually wanted the highest grades. I never wanted to be Ms. Popu...
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