I know you have caused joy in my life. But you, at the same time, has caused so much pain and disappointments in the span of your stay. I am not sure if you have to stay.
I have been holding on to these tears for quite a while because one, the source is unnecessary and two, it's something I should have long acted on. But for someone who's trying to fix her life and owning up to her mistakes, the pain of constant trying is so hard and exhausting. Sometimes, accountability and resilience aren't the best of friends. But for now, before I wash away all these thoughts, literally, let me cry all these pain out. Let me open again myself to the vulnerability of my emotions. Let me bawl and be ugly meantime. I promise to be the strong person that I am again after. I promise that this will just be fast. And for sure, after all this, I will still remain a resilient one. I will hold on to whatever I have. I will try to become a better one. There's no other choice around, really. And that's how we live this life. Prayers still.
It’s a new year and I realized, I have not written my thoughts for quite some time now. Days and months have passed, and things are quite the same still. You know what’s different? The impact. These days, I have quite grown to live with the challenges in my life. But don’t get me wrong. I still cry the ugliest cry. I still bawl in the CR in a snap. I still shout while driving. I still feel worried. I still feel anxious that anytime someone from behind will stab me, literally and figuratively. I still feel the pain. I still am sad of things that happened and that were done to me. But as they say, you do not and cannot forget the pain. You just learn to live with it. Until now, no one has sincerely sent an apology or showed regret. I shouldn't wait, really. Maybe there will come a time that they will realize the scar they left on me. Maybe not. And I am still trying not to care. I’m persuading myself that because I have different views and practice from people I grew up with,...
According to Cosmopolitan magazine, Cheating is defined as—“anything that you don’t want your partner to know about”. Then, if this holds true, a lot of us are committing this deadly sin. I for one agree. What is there to hide? What is there to not know about? I know a lot of people would defend themselves for reasons of avoiding incrimination or a potential fight and thus, euphemizing it as “saving the relationship”. But isn’t exposure to true happenings the best dose of the reality of life? Isn’t it a stronger relationship when everything is held as its foundation? I really don’t understand why there is a need to conceal things. As they say, its even harder to remember your fabricated stories than the real ones. So, why lie? More to that, w hen you do things that you think will ruin the relationship, why do it? When you have done things that made you look stupid, why continue being stupid by hiding and laughing at yourself by yourself? And if you ...
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